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E エレガントな毒の吐き方 脳科学と京都人に学ぶ「言いにくいことを賢く伝える」技術2023/5/3 中野 信子
     

  • Product Quantity
    : 1
  • Starting Bid
    :700円
  • Highest Bidder
    : はな / Rating:130
  • Listing Date
    :2025年08月04日 12時59分
  • Bidding closes on
    :2025年08月05日 01時38分
  • Auction Number
    :v1195172089
  • Condition
    :Damaged and stained (specify in description)
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定価1320円
本によごれあり
本に剥げあり
他に悪い点無し
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職場、取引先、身内、ママ友、ご近所…
イヤなことをされる、困っている、本当は言い返したい。
だけど、この関係性は壊せない――
つい「この場さえ我慢すれば」と思ってしまう自分を救う知的戦略


――――――――――――

「本音は正義」「をつかないことが、無条件にかっこいいことである」
という話が、最近、いろいろなところから聞こえてきます。

しかし、本当にそうでしょうか?
その場限りの、二度と会わない相手ならばいいかもしれませんが、
壊してしまったらあまりにも失うものが大きい関係性に対しては、
「別の戦略」を考えてもいいように思います。

イヤだ、不快だという自分の気持ちを無視したり、
心を殺してなかったことにするのではなく、
返す言葉に、「エレガントな毒」として含ませる。
言いたいことを言うけれども、
相手を直接傷つけたり、関係性を破壊してしまったりしない。

そんな「大人の教養」と「古都・京都が育んだ人間関係のエッセンス」を、
一緒に学んでみませんか。

◆もくじ

1章 NOを言わずにNOを伝えるコミュニケーションが今こそ必要な理由

あれこれ考えてしまって、自分の気持ちを言えないあなたへ
NOを言「え」ない vs. NOを言「わ」ない
「京都のコミュニケーション」を今こそおすすめしたい理由
実は国際的な「本音を言わない伝え方」
脳は調和よりも論破を好むようにできている
スカッと〇〇を目指した本ではありません!――言わなくていい本音はいっぱいある

2章 [シチュエーション別]エレガントな毒の吐き方を京都人に聞きました

言いにくいことをエレガントに伝える具体的な方法
【1 無理な依頼をお断りしたいとき】
無理な依頼を断るには?/来てほしくないと伝えるには?/
相手のアイデアを却下するには?/「お断り」の類似例
【2 迷惑をかけられて困っているとき】
長居する訪問客を帰すには?/マウンティングされて困ったときは?/
ハラスメントを受けたときは?/部屋を片づけてほしいときは?/
「迷惑の指摘」類似例
【3 不快だと思っていることを伝えたいとき】
「汗臭い」と指摘するには?/いらないものを断るには?/
行儀の悪い子どもへの対応は?/
場違いに派手なファッションとメイクを指摘するには?/
仕事ができない相手への接し方は?
【4 相手の間違いを指摘したいとき】
名前を間違えて呼ばれたときは?/「間違いの指摘」の類似例
【日常的なシーンで使われる基本パターン3選】

3章 「困った」「イヤだ」を賢く伝える7+3のレッスン

仕事で、日常で……賢くNOを伝えるには?
レッスン①「褒めている」ように見せかける
レッスン②「(遠回しな)質問」で、相手自信に答えを出させる
レッスン③ 自分を下げる「枕詞(まくらことば)」を入れて、断る
レッスン④ オウム返し質問で受け流す
レッスン⑤ 証拠のない第三者を引っ張り出す
レッスン⑥ 知っておくと便利な4つのキラーフレーズ
レッスン⑦ 褒められて居心地が悪いときは「受け入れて、流す」
レッスン上級① 「笑い」に持ち込む
レッスン上級②「依存」「下心」「利用してくる人」を撃退するには
レッスン上級③ 相手のイケズを正しく読み取る

4章 科学の目で見る京都戦略

コミュニケーションに「絶対ルール」はない
京都式と江戸式の違いはどこからくるのか?
「伝えきらない」ことが生み出す新たな「いい関係」
イケズを感じる脳、感じない脳
コミュニケーションを怖がりすぎなくていい

5章 ブラックマヨネーズに聞く! 京都人の驚異の言語センスと笑い

ブラックマヨネーズを生んだ京都という土地
ブラックマヨネーズのすごさに中野が思うこと
京都のコミュニケーションはじわじわ「怖い」?
「自然な反応」をコミュニケーションに取り入れる
京都人の結界意識
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